Friday, April 26, 2013

Feeling Good...

Hello Blogland:

Thank You!!!

First, I want to stay thank you to everyone for their advice in response to my last post.  I received many emails with some great tips!  You provided me with your insight, and essential tips, and it would be much more difficult to make it through this process without you.  In future posts, I will be blogging about the many tips that have been told to me that will be helpful to all future intended parents.  I am really grateful for the advice from those who did this before me; I cannot describe in words my gratitude. 

Telling The Job

This week I told my job about my being gay and pursuing surrogacy in India.  Although I was a little nervous, I had an idea that they would take the news well.  I am a criminal defense attorney with the public defender’s office and I work with a bunch of other criminal defense attorneys.   By profession, we defend all types of people who find their selves involve in all types of situations.  It takes a particular type of personality to do this type of work and that personality is generally accepting of all people.  This week proved to be no different.  I wish you could see my bosses’ excitement when I told them that I had twins on the way and that I was pursuing Indian Surrogacy as a single parent.  They smiled, laughed, called me brave, and could not contain their excitement.  One of my bosses said “THAT…IS…FAN…TASTIC!!!!!”   They asked questions about Indian Surrogacy such as why India, if it was safe, etc.  Then, they proceeded to plan my office baby shower.  I had to pick baby shower dates (my boss says I better have an office baby shower…so I can get free shit LOL…her words…not mine).  Another coworker was so excited and decided to spend most of the day coming into my office to guess baby names (she will also be making me a baby blanket).   I could not have asked for a better response and I am blessed to work with such a great group of people. 

Raising Twins…

…HAS been on my mind since I found out that I would be having them.  I purchased a book yesterday and it is pretty good so far.  The book is called “Juggling Twins…The Best Tips, Tricks, and Strategies from Pregnancy to the Toddler Years.”  The book is written by Meghan Regan-Loomis.   I am on chapter 11 of 37.  This book gives great advice with a twist of humor.  If the remainder of the book is anything like the first 11 chapters, I’d suggest any soon-to-be parents of twins to get the book.

Baby Shower

So I have been thinking about my baby shower.  The tentative date is June 22nd.  Anyone who knows me knows that I am not interested in the traditional baby shower (playing the games, opening gifts while everyone watches and oooo’s and ahh’s over baby gifts).  I want my baby shower to be a party.  I am one of few people who can drink at their own baby shower LOL.  It will be on a Saturday night with good food, drinks, DJ, and a ton of friends.  I’ll be getting my portion of the invite list and my gift registry (my sister will be helping me with the gift registry).  I should have a “BYOD” party (Bring Your Own Diapers…that’s an idea listed in the Juggling Twins book…I thought it was too funny).  But yes, my baby shower be a party to celebrate the soon (but not too soon) arrival of C&C.

The Plan

I have heeded to much advice and I am now planning to go to India around August 3rd/4th.  I plan to stay until around August 23rd (if the little ones comply LOL). This will give time for my little ones to come, and gives me a few Tuesdays to get the DNA testing.  I will likely stay at the Hilton Garden Inn which seems to be very accommodating to IPs.  I will use Chromosomal Labs for my DNA testing.  I will blog in a little more detail about this in a future post.  For now, I am tired and need to wrap this post up lol. I hope everyone enjoyed this post and I hope you all have a great weekend. Congrats to all of the new IPs and new parents out there. 
Until next time...



Friday, April 12, 2013

Halfway Mark - Need Advice!

Hi All.

First of all, I am at 20 weeks and at the halfway mark (yay!!!).  Perhaps, over the halfway mark because twins are considered full term at 37 weeks and surromomma and the twins are still doing great (double yay!!!).

"Now tell me how you really feel":

Among many causes, one source of my stress is planning baby pickup.  Every time I think about the logistics, I say to myself "ugh...I will sit down and plan it out later."  I am now at 20 weeks and I cannot procrastinate any longer. 

Yesterday, I sent an email to SCI asking exactly which week should I plan my arrival.  What stresses me out the most is that C & C (my little ones) run this show; as with their daddy, they are going to do, what they are going to do, when they are ready to do it.  I am on their time! LOL.  I don't want to fly to India so early that I am spending weeks and weeks (and $$$) waiting on their arrival.  However, I do not want to fly their so late that I miss it. 

SCI informed me that the twins will be considered full term at 37 weeks (August 7th).  My surrogate's due date is 40 weeks (August 28th).  Although they can come at anytime, SCI suggested that I plan to arrive at around 38.5 weeks (halfway point between when they are full term and when surromomma is due).  Arriving at 38.5 weeks seems to make the most sense for me.  What are your thoughts?

Coordinating a flight seems to be the most difficult.  Here is my situation (I may have mentioned some of this on a previous blog), and I would love any insight you can provide.  You can comment on my blog here, or if you'd like, you can email me directly at  I appreciate any tips/advice you have to offer. 

I plan to fly to India sometime between August 14th - August 21st (if there are any IPs out there who will be there at the same time, I'd love to meet up).  Ideally, I would like to fly from Newark, NJ, as United Airlines has a direct flight from Newark to New Delhi.  It will take me approximately 3.5hrs to get to Newark but I'd rather deal with that instead of the layovers and the "where's the mother" questions in different countries.  If the Newark flight becomes too expensive, then I will just fly from DC.

Anyway, here's my confusion (and it is taking me forever to just think about how I want to type out what my confusion is).  I am not sure how to logistically arrange the flights.  I want to get a round-trip flight.  How many seats should I book? My godsister Tiffany will be meeting me in India to help me with bringing home the babies.   Do I go ahead and book two round-trip tickets even though it will be only me flying to India.  This way, when it is time to return home, I will already have an available seat for Tiffany.  When I book my flight, the airline will want names of all passengers right?  Although I won't have any going; I will certainly (God willing) have two coming back home and the airlines definitely don't allow you to have 2 infants with only 1 seat.  If I do this, it seems like a waste of money because there won't be anyone flying in the 2nd seat on the flight to India.  Also, Tiffany would then have to get a one-way ticket to New Delhi which seems to be as expensive as a round trip ticket.  Will she have any issues with Immigration/customs there when presenting only a one-way ticket? 

I guess my bottom line questions is, for those of you who had someone meet you in India for baby pickup, how did you coordinate the trip? Was it difficult holding the babies the entire way (14hr flight from New Delhi to Newark)? Did the flight provide any accommodations?  I'm not sure how to go about doing this? I am going to also just contact the airline to see what they suggest but I would greatly appreciate your opinions.

Thank you

Monday, April 1, 2013

I love surprises...

...and I received a wonderful surprise today; an updated scan! I received the following email from SCI today:

"Dear Frederick,

Greetings from SCI Healthcare..!!!

We hope you are doing well.

We would like to inform you that as per our schedule we have done a level II & 3D scan for S.

Please find attached herewith her scan reports.

We are pleased to let you know that she is doing perfectly fine and babies are growing well.

Dr. Shivani and obstetrician team have reviewed the reports and noted that everything is fine with her and her pregnancy.

We would also like to bring in your kind notice that Dr. Jolly has captured some of 3D images of babies.
We are sure that you will like the same.
You can see babies' eyes, nose, lips clearly.
Her next scan will be done within one month.

We will keep you updated with her further progress and new status.

With Regards,
SCI Healthcare"

Needless to say, I am happy to hear that my surrogate is doing perfectly fine and the babies are growing well.   I can't believe the detail of the 3D scan; you'd think I've never seen them before on other blogs.  You can clearly see their eyes, nose, lips; its insane.  As soon as I received the scan, I sent it to my entire family and friends.  Everyone is so excited about their arrival; I feel like I am on cloud 9.  This email update was the perfect start to the day and week.   Here is the scan of my little ones:

I can't stop staring at this scan and smiling.  I hope everyone is having a great day.