Saturday, June 15, 2013

Sometimes you need to vent

This is a time where I should be filled with excitement.  My baby shower is on June 21st.  My surrogate is 29 weeks and is doing well. My twins are doing well.  They receive CTG scans daily and everything is looking good.  The Cerclage seems to be working and I should be super excited.  My surrogate is still in the hospital and has been there since 23 weeks.  She is expected to be discharged at 32 weeks.  I am extremely grateful for the care that SCI is giving my surrogate and the twins.  Without that care, she would have almost certainty went into pre-term labor.  I cannot thank Dr. Shivani and SCI enough for the care that they are providing my surrogate.

So while I should be excited, I have so much emotional and financial stress that I have no room for the excitement that I should be feeling at this time.  You see, I transferred all payments with a little extra in advance to SCI.  I did this back in the fall/winter.  My intent was to make sure all funds were already with SCI to make sure that if any payments were needed, it was already there at their convenience.  I paid for Stage 1,2 and 3 in advance with a little extra "just in cases".  Never in a million years would I expect that after 2 hospital visits for Hypermesis Gravidarum and this most recent on going hospital visit (from 23 weeks until now which is expect to last until 32 weeks), that my funds would be completely depleted.  I can't believe that with these hospital stays, I now find myself struggling to come up with about 15k to cover stage 3 again, the recent hospital stay, and expected hospital costs once the twins come and I'm not sure it is possible.  I acknowledge that I don't believe anyone could have predicted this to happen and it seems to be rare; however, I am still emotionally and financially spent. I now find my self reaching out to anyone for help.  If anyone has any advice for me, I would really appreciate it.  If you'd like, you can email me at




  1. This is the fear that everyone entering surrogacy must face, and I'm sorry that they have become a reality for you. I remember when I was trying to get and stay pregnant myself looking around at everyone else who was having such an easier time and really asking "why me"? I would look at stats and think, "okay, I'm taking the hit - I'm the 1 in 5 who has to endure this, I'm taking the hit in the stats for all of my friends who are enduring these easy dream like pregnancies". Sometimes it would ease my mind, but sometimes it didn't. Talking about how you are feeling and how you are struggling will allow others to both learn from your experience and also allow them to pray and pull for you. I believe in the power of as many positive thoughts or prayers as possible. Thank you for sharing openly with all of us. I know that it is appreciated by the entire community of those who blog, AND those who don't. Hang in Fred, you will get through this! Love you, and Happy "I'm almost" Father's day!

  2. make sure you save receipts once the babies come. Their medical expenses should be covered under your insurance. Ours were - we submitted them once we got home. Good luck and we are sending positive thoughts your way!!

    1. Really??? Can you email me at