Sunday, October 6, 2013

Patience

Today, my boys are 10 weeks old and they are growing quite fast. As of September 20th, they both were exactly 9.75lbs.  Chase was 21.5 inches long and Camden was 22 inches long. It has been a joy watching them grow over these 10 weeks.  They are both eating very well, they are cooing, social smiling, and when they social smile it makes your heart melt. It makes all the tough times disappear. Oh yes, there will be tough times...people just don't talk about it.  One of the biggest things that you will learn is the true meaning of PATIENCE.

Have you ever watched the news and you hear a story about a parent shaking their baby to death? I have heard news reports about that and I think "OMG...how in the world can anybody do something like that to a harmless innocent child. That Monster!" But now that my boys are at the peak of their crying stage, and when they are ganging up on me, I think "oooooo....thaaaat's how that happens."

Now there's still no excuse for harming your baby but I am talking about this topic because as a new parent, you really have to be realistic about the challenges and be patient.  When your child is crying non-stop and they are pushing you to your wits end...its okay to admit that you need a 5 minute break, help, a drink (LOL), or whatever you need to get you through the tough times because it is not all laughs, giggles, and good times.  I have 10-week old twin boys as you know.  They are the center of my world.  At 10 weeks, they are at the peak of their non-stop crying and there are moments where nothing will soothe them.  You're not a bad parent if you need to take a 5 minute breather. I'm not trying to scare anyone, I just want you to understand that you're not a bad parent and if parents tell you they've never felt like this they are lying.

With that said, I wouldn't change being a parent for the world.  I went back to work and felt so guilty leaving my babies.  I'm told that feeling will change as I get used to being back at work.  I miss them so much when I'm gone.

The last thing I want to talk about is overestimating your time to do things.  All parents need to do this but this is especially true for parents of multiples.  You cannot go ANYWHERE without being stopped over and over and over again by people ooohhing and ahhing over your twins.  People are still amazed when they see twins (especially a single guy walking around with twins). Every 10 steps or so...someone will stop you or comment "ooohh wow twinsss."  I've learned that I'm not being an asshole if I just give a smile and nod and keep on walking when I really have to be somewhere. LOL

Well, I just wanted to do this quick post.  I will do another very soon.  I hope everyone is doing well.  Congrats to Payam and Sajeev on the birth of their cute little twins.  I can't wait to meet you in New York for a playdate!

Here are a couple updated pics of the loves of my life:






13 comments:

  1. Patience is key - don't be afraid to just step outside and take a breath - they will eventually cry themselves to sleep. Your sanity is as important as their needs and those crying jags can be brutal. Mine were always crazed around 6:30 - no matter how the day had gone. Luckily - they will outgrow it soon.

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  2. Great post :) I love both my kids but the early infant stage was never my favourite. It was easy because I knew what they wanted 99% of the time - you learn their cues so fast - but that 1% when you didn't know AND you were tired, those were tough times. With my son, I had to step out of the room twice and get a breather. With my daughter, I did that a few times as I was trying to learn her cues. I knew I would never hit my child - for me, I learned to yell under my breath and even then, I would try to do that away from them because they can sense when you are not happy. After saying that, I did not have twins :) Again, congrats and so happy for you!

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  3. Yes great post Fred. Parenting is extreme love and extreme testing of ones patience. A good friend told me with baby number 1 that it was ok to feel overwhelmed and request a time out. I admire single parents immensely because I don't know how I would do it on my own. Your babies are beautiful. Kim

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  4. Hi I am Michael, you can take a look at my blog too and I could not stop laughing at your blog today, we are parents and you know what you mean about them times when your child wont stop crying you try everything in your magick bag to make them stop and you say dammmmm that's how shakin baby starts. I have a mirror next to Isabellas bed, shes 8 months old and if she gets me to the breaking point we go to that mirror and I tell her honey I love you daddy needs a time out so I will lay you down to sleep and I promise you with all my heart ill be back in 10 minutes. You know what it works she goes in her bed looks at the mirror is quite and I get my break, I go back in pick her up hold her kiss her and tell her how much I Missed her and I love her. You are so right I would not give up anything for what I am going through. This is what I wanted my whole life to be a daddy, not just a daddy but the best daddy I can be to my child. I give you all the props in the world my man, Its hard work but WE GOT OUR DREAM. Your babies are so beautiful protect them love them and cherish them forever just like I do.

    MIchael

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  5. Great post Fred!! I'm not a parent yet, but I've been a nanny, and I loved those 3 kids like they were my own, and still keep in contact with them. How true that 5 min break is the key to completely losing it. I admire you for your honesty, and for obviously being a great dad. I just have to say.....OMG your boys are seriously cute!

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  6. Thanks Fred. Your twins are growing fast, but remain adorable. Can't wait for our playdates soon :)

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  7. Fred, no matter how we prepare ourselves for this, we aren't ever truly prepared!!! You're doing a fantastic job, and you're keeping a sense of humor - THAT is key. Have you found the gas drops yet??? These were key with my kids, and I know with Aidan and Jayden as well - gassy baby = really fussy baby. I mean SCREAMING babies! Keep it up, I can always "skype sit" for you if you need to stand outside for a few minutes! lol.

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  8. they are so gorgeous!!! clearly you are all thriving, well done daddy

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