Wednesday, May 1, 2013

Emotional Roller Coaster

Staying true to form...we have another drop in this emotional roller coaster better known as My Journey to Indian Surrogacy...

Today, I received my monthly scan as expected; however, there was something different.  Gourav Rathi (SCI Accounts) was attached to the email.  "That's strange" I thought to myself.  "The only time accounts is attached to the email is when my surrogate is in the hospital.  She shouldn't be in the hospital...everything is going well...the pregnancy is pretty boring."  These are the thoughts racing through my mind as a result of just seeing Gourav cc'd on the email. 

I continue to read the email.

"We hope you are doing well."  -Yes I'm fine...why is Gourav attached to this email? (I'm thinking as I race to the next line).

"We would like to inform you that as per our schedule we have done a USG scan for S." - Yes, I know that.  Why is Gourav attached to this email??

Usually the next line says something like everything is fine and in normal limits.  I don't see that line anywhere and I'm starting to get worried.

"Please find attached herewith reports of the same."

And then I look and see bold letters:

"We would like to inform you that our obstetrician and Dr. Shivani has reviewed the reports & noted that the "Cervical length - 28mm. internal os is patulous and cervical canal mildly dilated at time of scan." - My heart is beating and my honest thought is "what the fuck does that mean? This doesn't sound good at all. I know enough to know that she shouldn't be dilated at 23 weeks.

"With respect to the same, our medical team has admitted her in the hospital" - Shit!

"Kindly note that we will need to do a Cervical Cerclage procedure for her which will be done tomorrow" - Oh shit...what is going on.What is a Cervical Cerclage.  Heart drops. Feeling sick. Want to cry.  Sitting in court waiting for my case to be called.  Something is very wrong.  I promptly forward the email to my friend and client liason Kim which leads to a lengthy, comforting telephone conversation about what is going on.

The rest of the email just says that she's in the hospital undergoing necessary medical treatment, etc. 

So...I'm sitting in court, trying to type things into google when my case is called.  As soon as my case is done, I leave and go straight home and get online. 

In a nutshell, I've learned that sometimes, the cervix will become slightly opened.  When this happens, there is a risk of miscarriage because the cervix needs to remain closed during the pregnancy.  With an open cervix, the mother can go into preterm labor which would not be good in this situation. When the cervix becomes open, the doctors will perform the cervical cerclage which is a procedure in which a stitch is used to close the cervix.  It is done with a strong suture that remains for the rest of the pregnancy until around 37 weeks.  I am thankful that my surrogate is only mildly dilated.  Based off of my research, it seems that the key is to catch this issue in enough time to close the cervix.  This procedure can be done as a preventative measure.  This is for women who may have had a previous miscarriage due to this issue; therefore, knowing that the same issue can arise again.  This procedure can also be done as a rescue measure, where the cervix is already open and the doctors are able to close it to give the fetus are few more weeks to bake in the oven.  Both ways had approximately at 95% success rate which is good. I did see that many women had miscarriages where this procedure was not perform, likely because the issue wasn't detected on time. 

I've been reading numerous messages boards.  A vast majority of women said that their cerclage saved their pregnancy.  At minimum, this procedure can be used to get the baby closer to a viable stage. 

This new issue has shaken me to my core - it takes a lot to do that.  Thanks to Kim, my sister, my dad, mom, and Dr. Google, I have calmed down some.  SCI has amazing doctors and I know they will take great care of Santosh and my little ones.  I am thankful that they noticed this issue while she was "mildly dilated" during a schedule scan.  I would be even more worried if she went to the hospital due to an emergency/pre-term labor symptoms.  I don't know how I would cope if I was to lose my little ones.  I didn't know you could love someone you never met so much who is so far away but you can.  If anyone has any information or insight, I would really appreciate your thoughts.  I promise to keep everyone up-to-date during this portion of the roller coaster ride. 




  1. This procedure is done almost every day by these professionals. You can stay calm.
    All our best wishes
    Javier and Antonio

  2. Fred, we're very sorry to hear about this news. We understand what you are going through as we rode a similar rollercoaster. We pray that all will come to past and that your SM and the twins will be fine after the procedure. Best wishes.

  3. Fred, we know what you're going through, so hang in there. Sending positive thoughts your way.

  4. Fred, sending positive and happy thoughts your way. There is something about this process that just does it to ya, huh! Be strong and know they are in the most capable hands! -A

  5. Hey Fred, We are thinking of you. SCI and the docs are doing the right is so hard when you are so far away and having a baby by email and phone call for updates was never going to be easy...but it will all be worth it in the end when you hold your bundles of joy....take care xxx mel, andrew, sophie, lilly and jack

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  7. Thinking of you. My patient recently had this done at 20 weeks and all turned out ok.
    Hopefully there will be news soon :)

  8. Thank you all for your lovely comments. My nerves have subsided and I believe everything will be okay.

  9. Hang in there....the twins are on the way!!